Author Archives: admin

Help, I’ve lost my objective!

Leave a reply

I’ve just had an audition for a role play gig, playing out simulations as part of training programs and I can’t help but get the feeling that I stuffed it up. That I took my eye off the ball and failed to deliver. I didn’t meet my objective in going to the audition or the objective that was asked of me in the audition. I know my stuff in this area, it’s what I do and the acting itself was fine. Yet, I lacked clarity of purpose, focus, objective. The conversation didn’t go where it could have gone. How many times have you felt that way in an interview, a presentation or a crucial conversation? That you have the credibility, information, expertise even, but it didn’t come across or the interaction didn’t turn out the way it could have. How different could it have been if you had clear purpose and no matter what was thrown your way, you kept your eye on your intention and the end goal?

For me, the objective in the scene or role play was simple; “you’re a truck driver, you’ve made a delivery, you are in a hurry and you need to get a signature from the person you have made the delivery to”. Of course, it’s never that easy and it turned out that half of what I delivered was incorrect. So, no signature, the man tells me. That’s when I lost sight of my objective. I played the rest of the scene on one level; as being in a hurry, just wanting to sort the issue and get out of there. The signature part got forgotten.  So, we came to an agreement of sorts and I left. Without a signature. How rich and different the conversation could have been if I had pushed for what I wanted. Conflict, negotiation, exploring options, coming to a mutually acceptable outcome; that’s what it could have looked like and probably what they were looking for. “Did you get the signature, achieve your objective?”, I was asked afterwards. Ah, right, I totally missed it. Sure, you could argue, I flexed in the moment, went with what I was presented in the scene, why would he sign etc. Here’s hoping that’s enough for the sake of the gig, but is it really enough in effective communication, a presentation,  a difficult conversation? How could it be more effective?

That brings us all the way back to objective. This is defined as purpose, aim, point, reason, goal, intention. All excellent words to describe what every presentation, or conversation, needs. It is not just about relaying information, or as someone told me recently, “you just need to know your subject matter and be passionate about it”. That’s only part of it. You need that ‘throughline’, that central theme, context, message, point, reason for being there, that backbone that everything you present is attached to. And for it to be delivered clearly. Why are you there, why is this important, why listen to you, what do you want the audience to do, how do you want them to feel, what changes because of this presentation, meeting, conversation and interaction? Knowing these things reduces your nerves and increases your confidence, hones your focus, allows you to cope with those challenges and questions. To deliver a message that the audience understands and can do something with.

Choose a strong objective. For example, ‘get that signature no matter what’, is stronger than ‘get out of there as quick as possible as you’re in a hurry’. In acting, when we study a script or scene, we explore – what do I want, how do I get it, what’s in my way, how do I get around the obstacles. I’d add to this that context is important and may have been missing in the expectations for my audition; what is wanted from me in this scene, what are you looking for, what’s the purpose of the interaction, what are the learning outcomes, what are you looking for from the participant, who is the learner, what are you ‘testing’ them on and what does success look like. All crucial components of running role plays for learning and development by the way. But that’s another article.

This focus on objective doesn’t mean that it’s all about you. You must consider the audience and their needs. How does what you say and what you are working towards, help them achieve their objectives? The goals of the business?

The same goes for coaching, difficult or crucial conversations. Yes, the conversation can go off in any direction, as we’re human and emotional, but there should be context, a clear goal, something that needs to be achieved and outcomes and actions that address clear objectives. It also must involve the other person; it’s not all one way. This is what influence is all about; facilitating behavioural change to enhance performance through clear two-way communication.  Key to this is focussing on the problem, not the person, which also helps deal with conflict. And yes, you do need to flex in the moment, depending on what is presented to you. I think at least I got that bit right.

Glen Hancox is the director of Actreal, drawing upon acting practices to coach people develop sustainable personal and professional presence, to present and be present. Key to his approach is guiding people to communicate within The Inter-Personal Space, TIPS©.

Quick Tips for Presenting

Leave a reply
  • Act real. Start with yourself and be yourself. Bring the best self you can be and own the space. This is the key to ‘presence’ and to managing nerves
  • Managing nerves when presenting is not a one size fits all approach – what are your triggers, concerns and strengths?
  • Shift the focus. It’s not about you. It’s about your audience
  • Breathe. Just breathe
  • Pay attention to your intention. Be clear on your objectives and put your attention to things that help you achieve it
  • Be clear on the point of your presentation and how it helps your audience. What’s in it for them? How are you solving their problems?
  • Take the time to analyse and plan your presentation
  • Prepare, rehearse, then let go. That’s when connection happens
  • Connect with and believe in your message
  • Consider what you want your audience to do and how you want them to feel
  • Your body language affects how you feel and how the audience reads you. What helps you? What gets in the way?
  • Start strongly. Hook the audience. Why do they need to listen to you? What’s the ‘so what’ factor?
  • What is your call to action? What are you asking for? What changes because of your presentation?
  • Make sure your information, facts and figures have a throughline and tell a story
  • How do slides enhance your key messages? What could you use instead? Don’t read your slides – direct the audience’s attention and focus
  • Be wary of ‘systems’ or ‘processes’. Try them out and take what works for you
  • Ask for feedback. Keep presenting. You will get better and grow your confidence

Glen Hancox is the director of Actreal, drawing upon acting practices to coach people develop sustainable personal and professional presence, to present and be present. Key to his approach is guiding people to communicate within The Inter-Personal Space, TIPS©.

Managing Presentation Nerves – a case study

Leave a reply

I recently coached an executive who has been presenting for years and it has never bothered him. He knows his stuff, he has been fine with asserting his views and is happy driving conversations with groups of people. But in the last couple of years, without any discernible trigger, he has been getting a ‘flight’ reaction; “as soon as there is a specific focus on me I am starting to panic regardless of the size of the audience.” Strangely, he is confident going in to the presentation, he is not dreading it, there is no trigger and then it just hits him to the point of being “debilitating.”

Where to begin to help with this problem? Managing nerves when presenting is not a one size fits all approach and various strategies need to be explored to find what works for the individual. Exploring pain points is a key starting point, as are questions around individual preferences and approach, including before/during/after presenting actions and feelings. The aim here is to delve into potential triggers or concerns and also strengths that when utilised give the person more confidence. With confidence comes less focus on self and therefore more presence in the room.

In this case, some of the things that came out were a desire to win/fear of failure, an inner critic and yet a strong belief that he is good at what he does. There was also a preference for a conversational, interactive approach and to challenge people. He has a higher level of comfort talking rather than having to read and follow notes, which in fact makes him more nervous. However, his nerves can take him off topic, so he needs to be able to ensure his key points come across. He has strong physicality and a sense of fun. So, how to take this and apply to his presentations, particularly the management of nerves.

With an upcoming strategy day presentation coming up, the opportunity was there to apply some actions and techniques. While the mental side was important, what really seemed to work was the physical stuff. We worked on tense and release to shake off the excess adrenaline and release tension from his body. From here, he could access the diaphragmatic breath and bring his heart rate down. We worked on his stance and posture and he even tried some Amy Cuddy power poses. Now that he physically owns the space, the next step was to start strongly to give him a sense of confidence and to capture the audience attention. What really worked here was to start with a question, to involve the audience from the outset which fed into his preference for an interactive style, challenging the audience and showcasing his knowledge. From here, using key points or a ‘fishbone’ helped him keep the presentation on track and to ensure he followed a central theme or throughline. It also helped him ‘let go’ so he could let his personality and sense of fun shine through. I said to him, “don’t present the way you think others want you to. Enjoy having the discussion and debate. And ask for feedback afterwards”.

So, how did he go? Better. Not perfect, not ‘cured’ but importantly he feels like he is back on the right track now, going in the right way again and he is keen to jump in right now and do more presentations, to “make sure it’s not a fluke”. He felt calmer, he got good feedback and despite some nerves, the feedback was that the message came across well and no nerves were noticed. He gives himself a 7 out of 10. What’s needed to get the extra 3 points? A strong close and wrap up. The so what factor. The summary, the impact of inertia and the call to action, or as he puts it, “the ask.” Further focus on the audience rather than himself and more of a sense of fun, which is possible now that he is back on the right trajectory. A bit of coaching and tweaking, using his ability to talk off the cuff, and we came up with a killer close. Pausing and further vocal impact will help balance his relaxed style with audience engagement and emphasis on key points.

Where to from here; find opportunities to use this stuff, continue the physical techniques, prepare the structure, message and close, pause for impact. And importantly build on the confidence he is starting to feel, to prove to himself he can do it again, with more ‘fight’ than ‘flight’.

 

Glen Hancox is the director of Actreal, drawing upon acting practices to coach people develop sustainable personal and professional presence, to present and be present. Key to his approach is guiding people to communicate within The Inter-Personal Space, TIPS©.

Turning Technical Information into Compelling Presentations

Leave a reply

It would be great to make fascinating, motivating presentations that move the audience and inspire action. Like a TED Talk that gets a standing ovation and millions of online views. Often though, work presentations are, shall we say, dry, technical, and a dump of complex information. This is the reality and not every presentation is a TED Talk, I agree, and yet I’ve seen some engaging technical presentations that make me want to jump up and cry “I get it, how can we not implement this!” What I mostly hear from presenters however is apologies and a kind of disclaimer to the audience, such as “Apologies in advance, this is quite dry, technical, it might be a bit hard to follow, there are a lot of slides, information, you may find it a bit boring, I’ve been asked to do this presentation but there is data you could read, I just want to give you some information, I find this stuff interesting but you may not, I don’t find this interesting and I doubt anyone does.” Ok, maybe not all from one presenter and perhaps thought rather than spoken, but you get the point.

Rather than use the content as an excuse to bore and befuddle, the fundamentals presenting still hold true – take the audience on a journey, help them make sense of the information, deliver a clear message that they can do something with and take action from. Not possible with a technical presentation? Au contraire. I’ll use the worlds of acting, literature and, well, the real world, to build my case.

As an actor it is my job to take the words off the page and bring them alive for the audience. To create meaning, understanding, emotion or at least provocation of thought. I don’t read off the script or deliver the words as if I’m reading from the page. I also don’t blame the writer for writing something that is hard to make sense of. (Well, ok sometimes). We study the words, the story, action, characters, themes, physicality, then workshop and rehearse it with help from the director who can view it from the audience’s viewpoint. Let’s take Shakespeare as an example; Complex language that is meant to be performed not read. Done badly it’s still confusing. Performed well, even if you don’t understand every word the dynamics and throughline is clear. You understand what is going on, who is who and how it ends. In the real world, often you get to write the script and what’s stopping you running it by a non-technical audience and see if they get it.

So let’s take this idea of throughline and look at what the literature on the subject has to add. And where better to start that ‘Ted Talks’, by Chris Anderson, Head of TED. He says that you are sharing an idea and even in a business context the goal is to give to the audience and to figure out what the audience needs. And here’s the bit that I like – “There’s a helpful word used to analyse plays, movies and novels; it applies to talks too. It is throughline, the connecting theme that ties together each narrative element. Every talk should have one.” Yes, every talk, even technical ones. He goes on to talk about explaining tough concepts and with TED speakers have only about 20 minutes to explain sophisticated concepts and give the gift of understanding. “You can’t give a powerful idea to the audience unless you learn how to explain. That can only be done step by step, fuelled by curiosity. Each step builds on the what the listener already know. Metaphors and examples are essential to revealing how an idea id pieced together. Beware the curse of knowledge!” So find your throughline, hone your message and build it so that the audience gets it.

So how does this play out in the real world? I have two recent coaching examples that link the theory to real world application. I have one client in the investment services industry who has to present investment reports and results to clients. He is analytical, calls himself “a numbers guy”, has a quiet nature and struggles with what he calls the “salesman” side of this part of the job. For him, the numbers are the numbers, the result is clear and he doesn’t see how you can “dress it up, embellish”. On top of that there are always varying levels of knowledge and understanding amongst his ‘audience’. What we worked on was not a change in delivery to turn him into an excited extravert, but instead, to focus less on the result and more on putting a story around the numbers. Help the audience understand what the numbers mean and what went into achieving the result. Include some detail around the process, what goes into this outcome and what the team did to make decisions and add value for the client. It is fascinating when he tells these stories, which to him are just the things he does every day; it brings him out of himself, makes clear tough concepts and demonstrates the work that goes in and the high level of care involved. The presentation has a human side and a throughline with examples that puts flesh on that spine.

Example two. An engineer presenting a business case for the capital expenditure for a piece of equipment used for waste transfer. Hardly looks inspiring on first glance! And yet this is important, for the business and for her; she believes in it. In the first run through her presentation was structured well, the business case clear, she was credible and delivered without notes. But it lacked something; The importance, commitment, why this matters and why doing nothing is not an option.  As a result, her delivery lacked conviction, it was almost an apology asking for the money. “I’d like to tell you…” Once she was able to paint a picture of that equipment, communicate her belief in her analysis and the importance for the business, she delivered a clear and confident call to action. The transfer of business case information to the audience turned into a business imperative with impacts from continued delay. There was a throughline, a clear message and she owned it.

Technical, complex, or information heavy presentations can and must be engaging. While not a TED Talk, they can inspire action and commitment. So take that data, find a throughline, focus the facts and present a compelling case.

Managing Nerves When Presenting

Leave a reply

Let’s talk about the biggie when it comes to presenting; most people don’t want to do it because it scares the hell out of them. But there’s more to it than that. Nerves are a blocker; Nerves, anxiety, emotions and the associated thoughts can affect you, the audience and the message, impacting –

  • The impression you make on others and your credibility. Nerves can undermine your composure and confidence and can be read as a lack of ability. As Maister, Green and Galford say in The Trusted Advisor, “Credibility isn’t just content expertise. It’s content expertise plus “presence”, which refers to how we look, act, react, and talk about our content.”
  • Your level of comfort.  Most of your focus shifts to how you are feeling, rather than your message or the audience. You are not present as it’s all about you! And because the brain can’t multi task, our performance suffers as we don’t have the ability to focus and pay attention to the presentation.
    • The message you are trying to get across. The nerves come between you, your message, and the audience, acting as a block or filter. It undermines you even if you know your stuff.

I ask people in my workshops what it is about presenting that makes them feel nerves and how this feeling manifests. You may recognise some of them-

Reasons

–     Being exposed and looking stupid

–     Being judged

–     Stakes are high

–     Fear of failure or past failures

–     Fear of appearing nervous

–     Business/career impacts of a poor presentation

–     Being caught out by questions

–     Being underprepared

–     Feeling vulnerable in front of groups of people

–     High self-expectations

Symptoms

–     Shaking legs, hands, body!

–     Dry mouth

–     Dodgy tummy

–     Red face

–     Weak voice

–     Mind blanks

–     Negative self-talk and thoughts

–     Rambling

–     Rapid heart rate

–     Nausea

–     Shortness of breath

–     Need to go to the toilet

–     Reverting to PowerPoint slides

–     Not knowing what to do with those things at the end of your arms!

No wonder people avoid presentations! But why do we react this way? Because we’re human. We have a hardwired response to perceived danger and we are constantly scanning our environment for threats. Blame our ancestors who had to fight off predators! We may not have to worry about some beast blindsiding us and wanting us for dinner but our reptilian brain still keeps us out of trouble and helps us survive. When we feel stress, such as having to get up and present, our body can interpret this as danger, which releases adrenaline and kicks off the fight-flight-freeze response. That is, we feel like we’re about to get into a bout, we want to get the hell out of there or we just freeze up. These symptoms cause even more adrenaline to be released, making it an emotionally upsetting or confronting experience. We remember these feelings and seek to avoid them in future and if we can’t, performance anxiety will be right up there with us.

There’s not much brain power left to focus on anything else let alone the fantastic content you had ready to dazzle your audience. The bad news is that we are human and wired this way. The good news is that we can develop resilience to recover quickly when this happens and even calm the brain and our body, in the moment. So while we can’t get rid of nerves, let’s look at how we can manage them.

Top Tips

  • Preparation and structure. Know your stuff and organise in a way that transfers that knowledge to your audience. What is your key message? What are your 3 key points? Have confidence in your knowledge and reason to be in the room. Think about your objectives, factual and emotional, and use those to guide your presentation.
  • Do your prep then then let it happen. Bring yourself. Be present, fill the space. When you’re present it allows others to be. Let go.  As an actor when I go ‘on stage’ I shed off all the fear and anxiety, in my mind, as there’s no point taking it on with me to weigh me down.
  • Switch the focus from yourself to your audience; what do they need? Maintain eye contact, ‘listen’ and flex in the moment. Be willing to let go to rehearsed material and trust in your prep, knowledge and objectives you are working towards.
  • Train your mind. Switch off your inner critic, bring out your inner coach and replace negative thoughts with something positive which works for you. Studies show affirmation of your values decreases anxiety. What’s your trigger?
  • Practice mindfulness meditation. Recognise thoughts, allow the feelings, then let go.
  • Reframe anxiety as excitement. Actors turn stage fright into stage presence, using the energy and creating electrifying performances.
  • Take a strong and open neutral stance. Watch Amy Cuddy Ted Talk – Power pose and fake it until you become it!
  • Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and strong.

Managing your body

  • Breathe. Deeply. When you stop breathing you can’t think. When you are tense you can’t breathe. Diaphragmatic breathing brings the heart rate down, sending a message to the brain that there is no danger. Breathing goes back to normal, the fight-flight-freeze symptoms dissipate as does the focus on self. You can train the arousal system through breath, changing your state, emotions and mind.
  • Tense and release your body beforehand to get rid of excess adrenaline, putting your body into a relaxed state so that you can access the diaphragmatic breath.

Nerves can be managed, disguised and used to enhance your presentation. Recognise how they manifest for you, accept that it is normal and choose the techniques that work for you. If you do nothing else, breathe, just breathe. I’ll leave the final word to Amy Cuddy –

“That self-induced Presence in those challenging moments will allow you to approach stressful situations without anxiety, fear, and dread, and leave them without regret, doubt, and frustration. Instead you will go forth with the knowledge that you did everything you could do. That you accurately and fully represented yourself and your abilities. That you showed them who you really are.”

Glen Hancox is the director of Actreal, drawing upon acting practices to coach people develop sustainable personal and professional presence, to present and be present.

Click below to get free access to the Managing Nerves Video

http://actreal.com.au/contact/

Self-Confidence

Leave a reply

I’ve been thinking a lot about self-confidence and the role that plays in someone’s ‘presence’ and also happiness. And how much is appearance or perception – fake it til you make it or perhaps become it versus intrinsic feelings of self-worth. Then of course there’s feelings of over importance i.e. arrogance or lack of self-awareness. Certainly the ability to project confidence is an important component of being a leader and also key to being a strong presenter.

Let’s start with not having self-confidence – you doubt your worth, opinion, how you come across, a lack of self-belief and even an inferiority complex; thinking everyone is or knows better than you. So is confidence something you are born or raised with? Is it environmental? Can it be learned?

First of all, what is it? I came across this definition – self-confidence; a feeling of trust in ones abilities, qualities and judgements – the minds state of positive thinking. How confidence comes across can be speaking with sureness and certainty, body language, posture or the way someone holds themselves, validity of opinion and calmness in delivery. Sure you can fake this stuff but belief in self or ‘trust’ which is the word I like, is powerful and comes from a place of honesty, integrity, authenticity and comfort in ones own skin. It also means it’s free of comparison, worry of what others think and the assumption that they know better or more. And there is always someone that will.

How does someone attain self-confidence? Part of it is the messages we tell ourselves. In acting, when we study our character, we look for clues in the script; what do I say about myself, what do others say about me. What do I want and how do I react to the barriers that get in the way. Though life is not a script, it is a series of dialogues, with others and ourselves and many conversations that only occur in our own minds, often playing out never held conversations with others. So what are you telling yourself? What are others telling you and how much more weight do we put on perceived negativity versus positive feedback, comments or recognition. And why do we place so much more emphasis on what others think of us rather than what we think of ourselves. Really, who cares and what do they know? There is no right or perfect, everyone has an opinion, no one really knows everything, no one is ‘better’ than you or anyone else. And the truth is there is always someone taller, smarter, successful (insert any word here) than you. So, cease the comparisons and do a little internal work.

Again it comes back to confidence in your own skin, no matter how imperfect that shell may be. Being sure and true to your own values, beliefs, who you are, your knowledge, gifts,

 

contributions. Your own yardsticks and self-assessment and development. Not that of others. Confidence also comes through action. This is what guides and propels us and is what the ‘audience’ sees. Doing, not just thinking about it, challenging ourselves, not waiting til its perfect or the time is right. Because it never is. The more you act, the greater the momentum, direction, practice, experience and acting is more than a lot of people do! It’s a hell of a lot easier to sit back and criticise the actions of others.

Get up, stand up, have a voice, let it be heard, present your ideas, take opportunities to stand up in front of others, get out of your comfort zone. This is what builds confidence and becomes a part of who you are. For me acting, getting up on stage, feeling that awful fear and anxiety built my feeling of confidence over time and the thoughts of “I’m up here doing this, I feel strong and most people out there can’t or won’t do what I’m doing”. Poor performances, bad nights, negative reviews? Absolutely. Putting less weight on others opinions and increased resilience to the knocks? You better believe it. Doubts and fears? Always present to varying degrees, yet they don’t reduce me to inertia.

What is it for you that makes you bigger and stronger? Sometimes outside in works – our ‘costume’ or what we wear. Try standing up straight, holding yourself higher, exercising your body. For years insecurity about my height held me back from being an actor. And yes it has and will prohibit me from some roles but not all and look how short many stars are! In her Ted Talk Amy Cuddy talks about power posing and faking it until you become it and how this external exercise links to the brain and increased confidence. Try something, do something that makes you nervous, take action and a small step towards that think that you’re waiting for the right time to start. Put your hand up to run that meeting or presentation at work. Exercise your body and mind, through gym or yoga and meditation.

So act, in all senses of the word, take action, give it a go, put your character on the stage, stay in the moment and assess yourself, rather than imagine the judgements of others. Hold yourself higher and have a voice, starting with your internal one. Don’t wait to feel assured or confident or until you are certain it will turn out perfectly. The most successful people have failures behind them and they set out on their ventures only with the benefit of hindsight, not a crystal ball into the future. They may seem confident or positive that they would succeed but I bet they faked it a lot too and still do. And I’m damn sure they still don’t know it all. Believe in yourself, what you do and have to say, then get up there and act real, feel real and live your life with confidence.

The Dread of Role Play

Leave a reply

The Dread of Role Play

“What’s in a name? That which we call role play
By any other name would smell as sweet.”

Ok so that’s a fairly poor use of a Shakespeare quote and I’m not sure that just changing the name makes ‘role play’ any more a pleasurable prospect. Doesn’t help that it’s from Romeo and Juliet which is a tragedy. Whatever you want to call it – real play, skills practice, acting out, using this form of practice in learning is crucial for development from childhood onwards. As kids we love it, as adults we dread it. In the workshops I have delivered when those words are mentioned the effect on the room is palpable. Pained or frightened expressions, eyes cast downwards and a shift in the feel of the room. And that’s before I even ask for volunteers. And yet few participants and observers would argue that the biggest ‘ah ha’ moments have come from actually practicing what is being preached. I have even heard the words “enjoyable” and “fun” uttered, to which I would add satisfying and rewarding. So what’s the problem and why the pushback every time?

Well, for a start I think the name is wrong and sets the expectation that people will be acting, that they have to get up in front of their peers and perform a scene. The only acting should be from the actor/facilitator/person playing the other role. The participant should only be ‘acting’ as themselves – acting meaning ‘being’, ’functioning’, ‘behaving’. So it’s being yourself in a particular scenario, practicing certain skills, having an opportunity to try something new or a familiar situation in a different way, getting coaching and feedback. It’s important that this context be set up and there is absolute clarity on the objective before the scenario is played out. When it’s not, I have seen role play gone wrong.

As an actor often I am brought in purely to role play, to play characters and scenarios as part of a workshop and give some feedback from my characters point of view. One workshop recently, granted it was a pilot program, highlighted how not to run role play. After some general discussion on communication and rapport, it was announced that the group would now be role playing, trying out meeting and greeting a ‘customer’. One brave volunteer came up and with little ado she was told to launch straight into it. I was clear on my role but unsure as to what skills the participants were to practice exactly. It was clear this participant had no idea either. She giggled, stopped and started, rewinded, was made to start again and her bubbly personality gave way to frustration and uncertainty. Mercifully the interaction was stopped and the floor was open to feedback, again with little structure or context. The facilitator and group meant well but without a clear aim comments were varied, focussed on framing rather than rapport and increasingly our ‘role player’ appeared to take it as criticism as to how she does her job and interacts with customers. After a well-meaning question from the floor – “why did you decide to deal with the customer that way?” the tears came. Positive comments soon flowed in, about her personality and how well she does her job, what the role play was trying to achieve, but it was too late, the damage was done. She never recovered and left at lunchtime. Thankfully the rest of the days’ role plays went well and the intentions and focus on each interaction was more clearly defined. It became a skills practice and group coaching session, providing participants with a chance to practice specific skills and learning from the workshop. As it should be. Granted this reaction is rare and can depend on the sensibilities of the participant, yet each individual must be considered, learning outcomes clear and each role play pitched appropriately.

In another example, also a customer service workshop, the morning was spent on building skills and models step by step, interacting with the audience to relate to their world and build best practice in that context. The last part of the session was role play (we called it skills practice) and it was framed as a chance to practice some of the skills discussed e.g. asking questions, delving, using a GROW coaching framework. Anyone could stop the interaction at any time to get help, feedback, coaching, and advice on next steps, to try a different tack. Essentially the participant controlled the situation and owned their learning outcomes. The rest of the group were role playing with them, they were their ‘bench’, a ‘phone a friend’ as we worked through the scenarios together. Sure there was still silence when the next volunteer was called for but the room felt ‘safe’ and each role play was a learning opportunity for everyone in the room, including me as I got stuck on the content of their working world. A great chance for the group to upskill me! One lady said after her role play that she could see how following a process made it so much easier work through a situation with a customer rather than just jump to solution, yet still be herself. An audience member said during one role play that she saw what she tends to do and watching it has made her realise she needs to stop assuming the customer has the same knowledge and understanding as she does. Individual learning outcomes, feedback and coaching opportunities for the role players and the rest of the group. And not a tear in sight.

In my experience, you can talk to an audience, facilitate discussion, go through models and frameworks, but it’s the doing where the learning comes and with it an increase in the likelihood of people applying these skills back in the workplace. It’s a playground, back to ‘role play’ we loved as kids and amazingly most people commit fully to it, get involved and to varying degrees get drawn into the world being created.

So, call it whatever name you will but as Juliet is telling Romeo with “what’s in a name”, a name is an artificial and meaningless convention, and that what’s behind it is the important thing. You may never love it but for those using it, do so well and for those involved, see it not as struggle and tragedy but embrace it as learning and who knows, even fun.

My tips for role plays done right

  • Brief the actor not just in content but also learning outcomes, participants and challenge level
  • Set up at the beginning of the session when, how and why the role play or ‘skills practice’ will occur.
  • Explain that it’s not a test, the idea is to play around to see what works and where the conversation and situation goes. It’s learning by doing and will feel uncomfortable!
  • Make clear the learning outcomes
  • Frame up the role plays before beginning. What the focus is, skills being applied, how the interaction will run
  • Involve the whole group rather than the person role playing feeling they are on their own
  • Where appropriate allow preparation time before the role play
  • An option is to break people into groups and one or two people from each group meet the character, with their group as support crew
  • Set up the ‘rules’ around stopping the role play, getting help and coaching from the group
  • Pitch each role play appropriately given the skill and comfort of each participant and the skill being practiced. There doesn’t have to be conflict every time!
  • Structure the feedback. Start with the participant then the group, followed by facilitator and/or actor (role player). Make sure they give ‘what went well’ first.
  • Link feedback and debrief to the skills, frameworks and learning areas covered in the workshop
  • Use an actor rather than role playing with each other. An actor can take on character behaviours, make it real and give meaningful feedback. Participants are also more likely to take it seriously
  • Use real world scenarios and situations that the participants can relate to and apply what they practice in the real world.

I Yam What I Yam – The Power of Self Acceptance

Leave a reply

“I yam what I yam and tha’s all what I yam”, said Popeye the Sailor. Now there’s a guy who has a certain presence, oft associated with bulging forearms and a penchant for spinach. Another screen personality and author Willard Scott perhaps said it more eloquently: “Positive feelings come from being honest about yourself and accepting your personality, and physical characteristics, warts and all”. And then there’s my yoga meditation teacher who talks about people finding the level of comfort they have with themselves.

The point being, there is incredible power in being yourself and being comfortable in your own skin, and mind. The more I research presence, the more I am convinced it starts within, not just the stuff you do with others. Of course how you behave and project yourself to the world plays a key role but you need a strong base or platform to be able to do this effectively. The way I see it, presence is about being totally in the moment, focussed on the person you are with, the situation you are in. And that is very hard to achieve if you are worrying about yourself, how you’re coming across, what others are thinking about you. The more you can eliminate the self focus, the more present you can be, the more presence you project.

To look at it another way, top performers have incredible focus. Magnetic stage and screen actors who you can’t take your eyes off, sports stars who appear to effortlessly cope with pressure and dazzle with their ability, presenters who engage the audience and take them on a journey, even the person at the party you could talk to all night. These people are fully absorbed in what they are doing, not in themselves. This is often referred to as being in the flow, in the zone and it begins with full focus. This doesn’t mean these people don’t work damn hard. A top baseball coach, Joe Girardi, put it this way, “If you think too much, you fail, because the game happens too quickly. The key is preparation… The data has to become instinctual. You can’t think about it in the middle of a pitch.” Daniel Goleman, author of ‘Emotional Intelligence’ and ‘Focus’ puts a more scientific spin on it: “When the prefrontal cortex activates and we start thinking about how we’re doing, how to do what we’re doing-or, worse, what not to do-the brain gives over some control to circuits that know how to think and worry, but not how to deliver the move itself. Whether in the hundred meters, soccer, or baseball, it’s a universal recipe for tripping up”. I know for myself the horror nights on stage were when I was thinking about my next line, how I was coming across, what the audience were thinking and almost watching and critiquing myself from outside my body. Present? No. Stage presence. I very much doubt it.

 

I often talk about shifting the focus from self to the audience when presenting, to manage nerves and engage. I would take this further to say that in life, in business, those that have presence have the ability to forget about themselves and focus on others and in the task they are engaged in. To be able to do this, you need to work on yourself, be comfortable with you are and what you offer to the world.

To borrow from Greek philosophers and the perpetually present William Shakespeare, “Know thyself” and “to thine own self be true”.